this is who I am

my GOODBYE

2006-03-23T23:58:00.000-08:00

MICHELLE BRANCH LYRICS
"Goodbye To You"

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by
I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

[Chorus:]
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

[Chorus]

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

[Chorus x2]

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

I RUNAWAY....

2006-03-03T06:32:00.000-08:00

You took your love away
too fast
Left no chance to say
look back

Now I know the truth-
It makes it easier,
Maybe when time goes by,
I'll understand

Let's pretend that I've moved on
and I'll tell myself
that life goes on without you-
open my eyes and look deep inside,
I run away

You threw it all away
So blind
pushed me far from you and your life
Now I know the tears
wont relieve the loneliness
Maybe when time goes by
I'll understand

Let's pretend that i've moved on
and I'll tell myself
that life goes on without you-
open my eyes and look deep inside,
I run away

My Week and Weak

2006-03-03T02:55:00.000-08:00

These past few weeks showed who i am in times of stupidity.... that's all for now thank you!

What really happened is all my fault. I've trusted people that should not be trusted with complicated things and situation and feelings becasuse you know what... they only make it worse... worse that you can't live normally. that you can't not think properly, that you can't sleep without thinking what will happen the next day you make up and face the horror it made, that you can't live in peace. Now what i am going to do with these things bugging me everytime, every minute?... what?will somebody just tell me what to do... As always I have been searching to find the answer the best that it will be fine for all... RESET !!! the idea came to my mind and woke me up from these long sleep from darkness "wah kalabuan"

(warning wrong grammars coming up:) but it's ok for, at least its a practice)

Ok im going to mention some names about the problem im telling about
Jasper well know what... you've changed as far as i've changed... tell me what really ?happened? don't you think that it's a bit stupid not talking to each other about the one mistake you've made yourself... well i you don't know my blog so it's useless writing this but it's worth it...all i know is that we both change a lot you might say... i miss the days that we talk and laugh or whatever we did without caring about what will they say...honestly i don't like these changes because its more....NEGATIVE....Please forget about this craziness... Marianne we both know inside ourselves what is right and what is wrong... so tell me what happend lately... to be honest i think many people have been affected with all of these things...i know what wrong things i've made to get this worse...but i believe that we ca forget all about these things if we just listen... you may be thinking na mahirap ito hindi kaya. pero kung titingnan ng mabuti e napakadali nito... maliban na lng kung magpapadala tayo sa mga emotion.. oo tma nga na nailalabas natin ang mga feelings at kung anu-ano pa bakit andyan naman si GOD para tulungan tayo...ITONG MGA PIANGSASABI KO E PARA SA INYO DALAWA, Jasper at Marianne
Sayang naman ang pinagsamahan.....madami pa sana akong sasabihin e pero wala naman akong computer at nasa shop lang ako...

Thanks For the BULLIES for the company hehehe Sarah pwet.........Angel AHHH....Angelica Bully.....Janella PRO......"mahal ko kaya" sabi ni sandara.......

But hey think about this...the school year's ending and it is really nice getting to know all these adelfa people...wah go soccer boys.....

Miss... [continnuation]

2006-03-03T02:53:00.000-08:00

"With my old friends too, like Clariza, Claridge, Janella and Miji… Albert and Edineille to."

RANDOM DESCRIPTION [Miss ko na kayo sobra]
Clariza- we called her ‘mother superior’ one time last school year just to make her laugh or something or it was just because it is in SCQ RELOAD at ABS-CBN every weekend. What more could I say??? Hmmm…. The problem with her is that she’s not there when you want her but she’s there when you need her. Oh well …..”heheh joke po pero totoo (ang labo noh)” she’s fun to be with… she’s really nice sometimes… hehe “medyo malabo pagdating sa pagkukuwento ng mga bagay-bagay. Someday na lng daw nya sa’kin sasabihin”. I appreciate her company as well as the others… she don’t want people to read her work in front of her (peace!)… she’s afraid of balls… she comforts me everytime I feel sad I think…enough about her… mamaya may stalker siya at masyado na atang madami ang naikwento ko tungkol sa kanya”

Claridge- well she’s crazy about animes… especially NARUTO … she knows to many things about me… we both don’t understand much about things… we are so curious… talks about stuff that we don’t know… I love her brother Don Don…
“makulit at napaka daldal sa mga bagay na dapat secret lng namin pero fun…

Janella- what!! “takbo parating na ang bully. Masaya ito kasama lalo na kapag nangaasar… for all the people’s info hindi si Ella bully kundi malakas lang mangasar. Masyado naman para tawaging bully ang isang taong napaka cute at talino tulad ni Janelle. Masaya ito mag joke naaapreciate ko yun. Ayoko sa kanya malayo. Kung maaari lang e lagi ko sana siyang kasama.”

Miji- “Ayoko magsabi tungko lsa kanya kasi baka magalit e pero masaya kasama at may pagka green wah sorry sige tigil na ………”PRO SA LAHAT ng bagay… maniwala ka promise. Mahiyain na athlete.

Albert- wah proness ka alam mo ba yun. Sayang at nung mga huling part na lang ng School Year 2004-2005 tayo naging ‘mas’ close pero ikaw ung second person na napansin ko nung pagdating sa Jade classroom. Si Edi yung nauna e. sobrang sarap kasama ni Albert John B. ano pa ba ang hahanapin ko. Best friends ko na kayo e… salamat sa pagpapahiram ng engage at nakalaro kami ni Miji at napataas yung Tomb Raider hehe galing noh. Sayng wala na yun ngayon(ENGAGE).

Edineille- Nakilala ko nung grade school habang nagrereview sa TUTORLINK. Simula palng dun e maingay na at pala biro. Pinagkamalan kong Nathaniel yung pangalan mo… sana wag ka ng mawala sa tabi ko…

All I wanted to say is that I want you guys back. You mean so much to me with the little time you gave and shared with me.

All I know is that im having a head ache and I miss you so much while doing this post…

I ...

2006-03-02T00:52:00.000-08:00

Well what a day to call it hell.... joke haha today i dont know how to feel about the things that are happening to us at school... well i just feel like saying .....bla bla bla.......the first person that i hated not that much but i get so irritated everything time he talks or whatever he does......

I'm happy because im in CAD lab while doing this stupid post....
Just wanted to say that I'm gonna miss Adelfa...sad to say that i'm just getting closer with......the other people in Adelfa.....

Love You guys so much.....!!! but i still miss JADE more heheh

"bawal mag blog sa loob ng comp sci lab lagot na ko dito.wah patay.....hehe nagpaalam naman ako e kaya ok lang.walng kwenta ung post na toh I KNOW"

"astig naman ni Dan"

"Wah Bryan makulit!"

2006-02-24T23:28:00.000-08:00

Claridge, Stef and Me

2006-02-24T23:24:00.000-08:00

Claridge, Stef, Kim, Karina and me

Miss..

2006-02-24T22:13:00.000-08:00

This week was horrible....arrgh

Have been thinking a lot lately and I've realized that it isn’t me anymore. I’ve been open to everyone and no secrets are made but now I’ve learned to keep secrets from my friends. Now I’ve learned to get angry and easily irritated. This is my first year to get moody in my life. I don’t even say bad stuff about people but now I’m saying words that I can’t imagine... wahh. I’m scaring my self with these changes. I want my old self back. With my old friends too, like Clariza, Claridge, Janella and Miji… Albert and Edineille to.

I miss diamond 08, especially the girls. Vergelle, Kristine, Sylvia and Angelica. I hope we could hang out soon. I want to watch the ‘the sisterhood of traveling pants’ with them. Oh they don’t know how much I mss them.

I also miss Adelfa o7. The trio Hiyas-Kristine-Liean, ate Nave, Joy, Janel and all other students of Adelfa o7.

To be continued….

Have to do my debate paper, English speech and other things more important than blogging…

untitled

2006-02-18T01:33:00.000-08:00

I can take the rain on the roof
Of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then
And just let 'em outI
'm not afraid to cry
Every once in a while
Even though, goin' on
With you gone
Still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again
I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
(Was) (Is) bein' so close
And havin' so much to say (much to say)
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could have been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do
(Well, hey yeah)

It's hard to deal
With the pain 'a losin' you
Everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile
When I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder
Gettin' up, gettin' dressed
Livin' with this regret
But I know
If I could do it over
I would trade, give away
All the words that I say
In my heart, that I left unspoken

That's what I was tryin' to do

...

2006-02-17T05:00:00.000-08:00

hey what are you going to do if you think that darkness is the only thing around you?

open your eyes. try to see what's around you and what's in it for you.

a puzzle life

2006-02-17T03:58:00.000-08:00

As of now I can't post anything interesting or any.... can't function well right now...too many things seems to consume me….yeah yeah whatever.....

Send away for a priceless gift
One not subtle, one not on the list
Send away for a perfect world
One not simply, so absurd
In these times of doing what you're told
You keep these feelings, no one knows
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45

Send a message to the unborn child
Keep your eyes open for a while
In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else
There's a piece of a puzzle known as life
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight

What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

Everyone's pointing their fingers
Always condemning me

And nobody knows what I believe
I believe